"I, ____Mario Zelada____, hereby acknowledge that at any given moment during Game of Thrones, ____Tyrion____ may perish in a soul-crushing and utterly depressing manner.
I relinquish all rights to my emotional health as I continue to watch this series, well aware that any hopes or desires I have for positive outcomes are destined to go unfulfilled, and understand that the only real outcomes of this show end in heartbreak, disappointment, gore, and cold, unmerciful destruction. …
I hereby disregard my trained expectations for narrative television, understanding that this show has no respect for ___Jon Snow___’s moral ideals, and all traditional acts of heroism or nobility shall likely be met with terrible and undeserved retribution. No one is safe, and I have no right to treat the show with scorn or malice when another kind-hearted individual has his or her eyes gouged and head imploded by the callused mitts of a brute no viewer has ever cared about.
It is with all this in mind that I, ___Mario Zelada____ willingly continue to watch Game of Thrones, and freely invite the feelings of awful, hopeless agony imposed by the narrative events of said program.”
FUNNY OR DIE